Loving Someone

Caring should be in the Heart and not in Words. Anger should be in Words and not in the Heart

Sue Levy and Aslam Levy Inlove

A and S

Hi Lovelies,

Do you ever sit and think, what is true love all about?

The Challenge of Love

Questions about Love and relationships:

  • What the hell is going on with me, Am I inlove?
  • Why her and not me?
  • Am I inlove or infatuated?
  • Why does he not call me back?
  • Why does dating take so much energy?
  • I have a long term girlfriend, but I want you? (Excuse me?)
  • How do you get over someone who breaks your heart?
  • He wants me to leave my husband for him. What must I do?
  • Does she/he actually love me?
  • How does one deal with someone who is “the one” , but to him/her, you are not “their one”
  • How do you get over your Ex? I need to get over my Ex!!
  • How do you know “He/She” is the one?
  • Love is complicated. Why?
  • Why do people not want to commit if they love someone?
  • Why does love come with so many challenges after kids enter the relationship?
  • Why does no one ever tell you that your marriage starts after your lavish wedding day?
  • Did she/he just use me for sex? or did they actually feel something?
  • We were chatting and he said “brb”, it’s been 4 hours and I’m still waiting? What does that mean?
  • Should I be with a girl/guy that has kids?

Many of these questions have been answered. Sadly the lessons are tough and It’s easier said than done, and that I know for sure. Relationships and Marriage, they really take a toll on you because it’s hard work, it’s an ongoing process of learning to love and receiving love. It’s a test of who will be by your side when you are at your lowest, it’s a test to see how your initial friendship grows more stronger with every year. It’s a test of just wanted something physical and who actually loved all of you. Love is about being afraid to hurt someone instead of being the douchbag that ignores the partner. Many people say they marry their best friend, there is some truth in that, but I think your marriage is something that was destined for you before you even knew it. Many people can’t believe who they marry because that person was invisible until they decided to really have a good look into the person’s soul. It’s a constant work in progress.

The “D” and “B” Word

Then you get Divorce and Breakups. We all hate the “D” and “B” word, but it’s a reality. Couples grow apart, certain things are just out of people’s control. Couples break up because of infidelity. Divorces also happens when one of the spouses do not get the attention from their loved one as they priorities activities before the marriage, so what does the unappreciated spouse do? He/She finds someone who will give them the time of day. Resentment is something so many of us hold in our hearts, but it is also the seed of many arguments. It kills many relationships and I have come to learn that communication is key. 

Yet being on the outside of friends/loved ones  breaking up or getting a divorce, in this situation as friends, we need to respect that relationship, whether it be falling apart or reaching an ugly ending, it is still none of your business. All you can do is be there for that person/friend when they need you most.

Ending a relationship

We may not see it when it happens, but from what I have experienced, it’s a painful process. Your heart is crushed into pieces, It’s a pain that is not physical, but emotional to the point of depression. From the outside all we see is that couples separate and get divorced, but if I had to put myself in their shoes, It’s probably one of thee most difficult positions to be in. The emotional loss of your partner can scar you for years, in all honesty, if you do get a divorce, no one will really fill that space, it just means that they were suppose to be in your life for a certain time period. It’s better to have love and lost than to never have loved at all. When divorce leaves you all sour from the inside, never see the marriage as a failure, see it as a stepping stone to becoming a stronger and wiser you.

There is hope. Love will find you

Sometimes it just takes a bit longer because your heart deserves someone who can appreciate you for you, and accept all of you with imperfections – SFL

If you are my friend, and you have been chatting to me about being single, you’d know I always say this “Stop looking for love, It will find you” and this applies even after a break up or divorce. I believe that we are all destined to be loved. Sometimes it’s someone that we’ve never met, sometimes it’s that girl or guy from school that we never paid any attention to until we saw them 10 years later. Sometimes it’s someone that you just met who just ticks all the boxes, Sometimes it’s your crush from years ago, who just appears out of no where looking hotter than ever. Sometimes it just takes a bit longer because your heart deserves someone who can appreciate you for you, and accept all of you with imperfections. Sometimes It is your duty to speak to your creator and ask for that special person (That is what I did at the age of 20)

The important lesson is to never give up. Your turn will come and when it does, it will be amazing in every sense of the word.

Here is a beautiful story about Love.

A boy was born to a couple after eleven years of marriage. They were a loving couple and the boy was the apple of their eyes.

When the boy was around two years old, one morning the husband saw a medicine bottle open. He was late for work so he asked the wife to cap the bottle and keep it in the cupboard. The mother, preoccupied in the kitchen, totally forgot the matter.

The boy saw the bottle and playfully went to the bottle and, fascinated  with its color, drank it all. It happened to be a poisonous medicine meant for adults in small dosages. When the child collapsed, the mother hurried him to the hospital, where he died.  The mother was stunned. She was terrified how to face her husband.

When the distraught father came to the hospital and saw the dead child, he looked at his wife and uttered just four words.

What do you think were the four words???

The husband just said “I Love You Darling”

The husband’s totally unexpected reaction is proactive behavior. The child is dead. He can never be brought back to life. There is no point in finding fault with the mother.

Besides, if only he had taken time to keep the bottle away, this would not have happened. No point in attaching blame. She had also lost her only child. What she needed at that moment was consolation and sympathy from the husband. That is what he gave her.

Sometimes we spend so much time asking who is responsible or who is to blame, whether in a relationship, in a job or with the people we know – that we miss out some warmth in human relationship in giving each other support. After all, shouldn’t forgiving someone we love be the easiest thing in the world to do? Treasure what you have. Don’t multiply pain, anguish and suffering by holding on to unforgiveness. If everyone can look at life with this kind of perspective, there would be much fewer problems in the world.

Take off all your envies, jealousies, unwillingness to forgive, selfishness, and fears and you will find things are actually not as difficult as you think.

THINK….. “Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that.

Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.”

 

Image taken by the talented Vicki Tertiens 

About the Author

Founder of the Just Pursue It Blog and Inspirational Women Initiative. I interview women from around the world to share their story of inspiration and hope. I'm a Motivational writer and Media designer, who is obsessed with everything Inspirational with a hint of Geek. Thrives on spreading everything Positive and enjoys the company of Fabulous Motivational people. Inspired by people with beautiful hearts. Loves Design, Interviews, Doing talks, Product Reviews, Fashion, Technology, Good food, Music and Creativity. Also adopted the role as "New Mom".

Change your perception about fear: Overcome it

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Fear is one of those things that just scares the Courage out of us. I for one know this because I have been challenged with this word for a few month now. I have learned so many lessons though but most importantly, I have become stronger by overcoming my fear of failure and acceptance and whatever else gets made up in my uninspired mental state.

Fear is False Evidence Appearing Real, Most of the time our fears aren’t even what they seem to be, it’s normally what we think up in our minds and what we expect because of negative thinking.

I read this passage that spoke to my heart:

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” 
― Marianne Williamson

I decided to speak my truth in this video below. So I hope it inspires you to overcome that fear that is keeping you back from achieving your best.

“Don’t give in to your fears. If you do, you won’t be able to talk to your heart.” 
― Paulo Coelho

Love and Light

Sincerely Sue

 

About the Author

Founder of the Just Pursue It Blog and Inspirational Women Initiative. I interview women from around the world to share their story of inspiration and hope. I'm a Motivational writer and Media designer, who is obsessed with everything Inspirational with a hint of Geek. Thrives on spreading everything Positive and enjoys the company of Fabulous Motivational people. Inspired by people with beautiful hearts. Loves Design, Interviews, Doing talks, Product Reviews, Fashion, Technology, Good food, Music and Creativity. Also adopted the role as "New Mom".